BOY : May I hold your hand? GIRL : No thanks, it isn’t heavy. GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me! BOY : You love me… GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring?? BOY : Sure, what’s your phone number?? GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest. BOY : Then marry me and we’ll be the happiest couple GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever. BOY : Don’t you ever want to improve?? BOY : I love you and I could die for you! GIRL : How soon?? BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you! GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there?? SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss?? TRACY : I did once. He’d forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth. MAN : You remind me of the sea. WOMAN : Because I’m wild, romantic and exciting? MAN : NO, because you make me sick. WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other. HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth. MARY : John says I’m pretty. Andy says I’m ugly.What do u think, Peter? PETER : A bit of both actually. I think you’re pretty ugly. Girlfriend : “…And are you sure you love me and no one else ?” Boyfriend : “Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday”. Teacher : “What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?” Pupil : “A teacher”. Waiter : “Would you like your coffee black?” Customer : “What other colors do you have?” My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs. Tom : “How should I convey the news to my father that I’ve failed?” David: “You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year’s performance repeated”. Teacher : “Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?” Student : “Brotherly love”. Teacher : “Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?” Sam : “No sir, I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook”. Patient : “What are the chances of my recovering doctor?” Doctor : “One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people dieof the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I’ve treated. The others all died”. Teacher : “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him ?” One Student: ” Because George still had the axe in is hand?”

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